The Gambian Method of Teaching aka My Driving Lessons

Hey, hey, new year…and a very late posting for anyone that is following lol.

Things were just so funny today that I was prompted to write about it. I am currently receiving instruction under the “Gambian” method of teaching. I call it this because obv, I’ve only witnessed it here but feel free to contradict me. I am relearning to drive all over again- this time with the manual or stick shift aka the REAL way to drive since well, it is you in control of every jerk of the car. And I’ve had more than my fair share of the jerks. Anyway, this method I am enjoying is the way of yelling about any mistake I made. I will outline some instances that happened during some of our driving sessions- the italicized text was what went through my mind after the instructions I receive as I am too “respectful” to say them out loud... lol

Him: You were supposed to turn into that street.

I have suddenly developed psychic powers and can now read your mind.

Him: Turn left…HERE

Ummm, the only road is on the right.

Him: Turn left. You need to turn EXACTLY where I told you to turn.

There was a big pot hole in that particular section.

Him: You’re supposed to switch gears when turning.

This is the first I’m hearing about it.

Me checking my rearview mirror every so often: Him: You don’t need to always check those. It is what is happening in front of you that’s important!

They must have installed that mirror by accident then. (on this point and with the hulabaloo that is in front, I guess it makes sense)

After tackling a speed bump the wrong way: Him: You always drive over those too fast.

I guess the other 15 I cleared perfectly were just a fluke. Oh well.

Him: To the right. I told you to the RIGHT.

*Exasperated* Yes, but there is a PERSON right there…

Coming up to a main road: Him: Go! <> When I say go, you need to go. You need to listen to me and not mind the other drivers.

Yes, because you shall be beside me anytime I will be driving…

Him: Traffickate here.

Indicate, traffickate. Potatoe, Potahto.

Him: You’re always too slow to traffickate!

Now, usually I traffickate sometimes even more than 200 yards away when driving with him as that’s how he likes it. On this one occasion, I had the nerve to do it less than 100 yards to the intersection. My bad.

Other important things to take note of whilst the shrill instructions are being doled out:

1.       The continuous obstacle course- the PEOPLE!!!

OMG- the near heart attacks I’ve experience with the kids that dart across the front of the vehicle. Lord knows, I’m praying fervently on most of these roads that I don’t come in contact with any person. In three short days, I’ve come across:

·         the nonchalant pedestrian that is walking in the MIDDLE of the road (Bakau with vehicles approaching on both sides!);

·         the kid with the bicycle on the tight road riding straight for the vehicle (!);

·         the group of friends coming from football still creating a wall of defence- ya’know, since they are clearly still on the playing field;

·         the two cheppehs that see that the traffic is about to go as the road is finally clear, and even with your jerking (as I forgot to change back to gear 1 on that first day), they slooooowly strut across.

·         At a fairly busy intersection coming from Bakau New Town, another girl shaking her thang as vehicles were turning on that road. It was mine closest to her as I turned that I couldn’t help but “jangha, yow tamit” followed by a chipu (a kmt).

·         A child in the middle of those tight streets. A beep from far off could not shake her from her daydream. Someone had to physically move her as I kept beeping coming forward. Needless to say, I always keep my foot on the clutch ready to brake.

2.       The omnipresent yellow and green vehicles- the taxi drivers and the passenger vans (these can be any color) that suddenly stop in front of you, those that suddenly pull out of the road without any prior indicating. According to my instructor, they each follow their individual traffic code and I agree this is definitely the case.

3.       The people with the wheelbarrows, those on wheelchairs, the bicyclists, the motorcyclists-I guess all this still falls under people.

4.       The small potholes and the giant potholes. The craters on the side of some of the roads

5.       The tiny roads where only one car can fit at a time

6.       The really sandy roads where I thank my lucky stars that I’m in a 4 x 4. I’m glad the only time we got stuck in a sandy ditch was when he was driving on the first day.

7.       Did I mention the people?!

Serrekunda market is really no joke. This was an important area to tackle in my crash course (maybe another word should be used here) and we did it several times.

We also went on one of the minor roads in Bakau. Following directions, I then turned into one street at a tight intersection. I was then instructed to reverse into the road that was to the back and right of me. My instructor had exited the vehicle at this point and was directing me from outside the vehicle. Keep in mind, the tightness of these roads. I reversed fine and kinda got into the road on my right. Now I had to drive forward as I could not reverse any more. Except…this was my second day and I hadn’t quite gotten the hang of it yet. I shifted to gear one and slowly pressed the accelerator. The engine switched off. If the clutch and the first gear are not coordinated correctly, this is what happens. I freed up the gear box and turned the key to restart the engine. I shifted to gear one and pressed again slowly. The same thing happened…and the car rolls backwards each time I try to get it going as I was on a slight elevation. Did I mention there was a wall behind me?

A middle-aged lady with her grandchild (?) on her back came to the open passenger window to tell me how to “jogg” or correctly get up. Now, I am 99.99% sure that this lady doesn’t know how to drive. This is just the reality and I’m willing to accept the .01 percent chance of error. I could feel the beads of sweat forming on my forehead. Each time, I released the brake so that I could move my foot to the accelerator, the car crept closer to the wall. My instructor appeared on the window to the right and he proceeded to add his voice to the melee. For the fifth time I tried, I pressed harder to get the car out of that position and I started to move forward (a child passed in front of the car) and I was able to get going- yay me! I stopped as I couldn’t leave my instructor behind. At least, that wouldn’t be a nice thing to do.

Well, my quick course was over and I almost enjoyed it at times.

PS He gave me a positive review at the end of it all J